Two-year-old Bea was in my apartment a month ago. She hid the 10 miniature photo books I’d made through the past decade of baby Max, family, and friends. They’re small enough to fit in a wallet (I print them through iPhoto), and I store these keepsakes in a pretty wooden box on my bookshelf. Except after Bea left they weren’t in that box anymore. And they weren’t with Bea. Two of them were squirreled among other books on the shelf. The others had disappeared. I finally found them the other day in Max’s closet. Dagnabbit, squirrels.

Here’s an old journal entry about one-year-old Max in squirrel-mode:

drawer crop“I am picking up spatulas and tongs all over the apartment. Max opens up the kitchen drawers, rifles through, helps himself to the utensils, and proceeds to walk about with one in each hand. Sometimes I can’t find a measuring spoon or some other gadget, and I have to rummage through his toy baskets to retrieve it. He loves the wooden spoons with the long handles, except I have visions of him falling and impaling an eye socket, so they’ve moved to the top drawer along with the grater and vegetable peelers, and soon I’m probably going to have to find yet a higher spot since he keeps growing taller.

I’m working on securing the beside drawers now, picking out all the loose vitamins and whatnots, hiding the condoms elsewhere, since he wandered out of the bedroom the other day with a deck of nudie cards. I’m tempted to leave the pill bottles in the drawers—provided their lids are secure—as they make good rattles.”

So anybody out there with squirrels? What do they steal? Where do those things show up?

knife drawer


Squirreling: Where Did Your Stuff Go?
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4 thoughts on “Squirreling: Where Did Your Stuff Go?

  • May 30, 2014 at 1:36 am

    How would you feel about your munchkin and her little guests squirreling about the house and getting into the laundry basket… And then traipsing into the living room, just as their (posh) Mummy arrives to pick them up EACH WEARING ONE OF YOUR BRAS ON THEIR HEADS???

    Quite at a loss for words!
    Didn’t happen to me, but to a friend. I had popped over to bring her some kitchen stuff she needed to borrow and had the privilege to witness said event. Fortunately, said posh mother had a great sense of humour!

    • May 30, 2014 at 1:29 pm

      HAHAHAHAHA. i think i need to make a drawing of that.

  • June 5, 2014 at 10:47 am

    My younger one loves keys, and locks, and membership/hotel/bank cards, which seems to suggest a fascination with access and entry? One kid who comes over sometimes asked me if he could keep a nickel and penny he found on the floor, and after I said yes I noticed he was spending a lot of time looking under the couch. I had to explain to him that I am keeping that change down there for emergency bus fare.

    • June 5, 2014 at 3:51 pm

      You know, now that u point it out, keys ARE really interesting. You are locked out but you circumvent the lock with this tiny piece of metal. Keys allow you access to places where only a few may go, or access to something you are not supposed to have.

      As for the coins, I’m reminded of being a kid and always checking the change slots of phones and vending machines for forgotten money.


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