I’m so glad this blog has provided me an excuse to make the time to sit with my journals.

Do you remember when your baby discovered he has hands? Can you fathom not knowing you have hands? You twitch in your sleep—smack—and have no idea what the hell just slapped you in the face and woke you from your nap. Then one day your baby holds up his hands and his expression says, “Whoaahh, what are these… look at that, I can make their parts move just by thinking!”

Below is a drawing of Max discovering his penis. I remember him leaning over as far as he could in order to get a better view. What the heck is that thing under my stomach?? Fascinating! I wonder what it does. He just turned one.


And after the discovery comes your repeated instruction to stop fidgeting with those squishy and dangly parts, except it’s hard for your child to remember because come on! Those privates are right there at the same level where their newfound hands fall when their arms are relaxed, whether standing up or sitting down. Why on earth did we evolve this way if we aren’t supposed to be constantly doodling?

By the way, for those of you who know Max personally, let’s not mention this drawing to him or his friends.

Baby Max Discovers His Penis
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