This is not a blog about cute kids (not intentionally anyway). You and I can post our darling pics and stories of innocence elsewhere—that’s what Facebook is for. This is a blog about the nasty little beasts that we parent. It’s about floor-kicker tantrums, boogers and vomit, and little teeth chomping on fellow human beings. It’s about our kids’ embarrassingly horrible and horribly embarrassing behavior and about desperately trying not to stoop to their level.


Here is my one and only beastie, Max. He is now ten-years-old. The only reason he is allowing me to post this picture is because he no longer looks anything like this baby. When I’m not blogging or mothering, I work in graphic design and illustration. Sometimes I practice martial arts and teach little beasties the fine art of taekwondo. Sometimes they even behave in my class. Max and I live in New York City, where lots of beastly people, young and old, live and eat fantastic food and make lots of noise and music. This place is a jungle. So is parenthood. Welcome to the party and join the Konga Line.

—Colleen Kong